2/29/2008 Family Conference

As we stated before in my most recent posting, we had a meeting this afternoon regarding where we stand and what's on deck for Aidan. At the meeting were Drs. Caceras, Farerras, and Saad (surgeon), as well as a representative for our social worker and the Aidan's nurse at the time. Here is what we can remember from the meeting:

• They are doing everything they can to subside the storms by using various drugs. The goal is to get him off IV drugs and move to oral medications that can be given through the gastro tube.
• The 280 heart rate I mentioned previously is a result of a high heart rate + any motion Aidan is performing. If he is shaking/trembling and has a heart rate at 180, you can see how the heart rate could look like 280.
• The tracheostomy and gastrostomy are scheduled to be performed at 11AM Monday morning. Recovery time after surgery would be 2-3 days.
• There will be an MRI and MRS scheduled after recovery. This will tell what progress, if any, has occurred since the last scan.
• People from the whichever rehab center we choose to go to will asses Aidan before he is transported so they can formulate a course of action.
  

Right now, we are focusing on rehab centers within NC. We really don't like the idea of "moving" out-of-state for Aidan's rehab, so we are considering Charlotte Rehab Center along with one other, WakeMed in Raleigh.

Morning Update

I'm just about to go into Aidan's room this morning, but decided to post regardign what happened last night. The Guest Wireless Access was down last night, which is why I am updating now.

Aidan is still having the occassional episode/storm, but none have come anywhere close to how the really bad one was yesterday morning/afternoon. In general, he is calming himself down, but they did have to give a bolus of sedative last night when I was in there with him. They are putting shoes on his feet to prevent them from falling. They are also waiting for splints to come in to put on his hands/arms so his wrists won't be permanently turned inward. They have also started turning him every couple of hours to help loosen anything in his lungs, as well as prevent hot spots and bed sores from forming.

I finally got to see him open his eyes on his own last night. It was kinda like watching someone wake up from a nap, but he didn't really respond when I tried to make him notice me (me and the nurse would try to put a hand over one of his eyes neither the other eye nor his head moved in response). Erin said he did this when she was in there, but she was able to get a response from him. Maybe he just wasn't as sedated previously.

At this time, the tracheostomy is scheduled for Monday. IMO, this is far later than it should be, but apparently this was the earliest the surgeon and the ENT Dr. could coordinate a time. This means watching him have these episodes over the weekend (ugh!) and hoping he doesn't have another really bad one. The nurse says that as long as they are able to get him successfully sedated, they have no reason to do the trach yet as an emergency procedure. Whatever. Here's an idea: How about sedating him as soon as his pulse gets over 180, not 3 hours later when it is over 200?!?!?!

Anyway, there is a meeting scheduled for 2PM this afternoon with all the Drs. and nurses so we can get all of our questions answered. I am going to try to record the session using my cell phone so I can thoroughly document the proceedings later in this blog.

Erin just called from the hospital

And she informed me that Aidan had another one of his "episodes", and this one lasted 2 hours! His pulse was as high as 280 at one point! Erin pushed the doctors to get the tracheostomy done ASAP, but they seem to be unconcerned, saying it may not be until Monday that they will be able to perform the procedure!

This is twice that his pulse has gone up to the 200 range that we are aware of. You can bet that I am keeping track of these and will be asking questions once he is out of the hospital and into rehab if we discover further problems or developmental delays.

Erin is on her way to pick me and Evan up. More to come later.

Aidan Update and Russell's recent Job Interview

Aidan is still having his "episodes" ("storms" as they call them in the medical community). The good thing is that he is calming himself down from them. As of this posting, the last bolus of sedative they gave him was 10:30 yesterday morning. They started him on a beta blocker (can't remember the name) and they are still considering the other drug should he have problems when they start taking him off the sedative.

The Dr. also talked to Erin while I was at my job interview and he suggested that we go ahead and get the tracheostomy and gastro tube into his done. Doing this would get him extubated and get the nasal gastro tube removed, which would then allow us to get him off sedation (soon), into a regular room (eventually), and (most important to us) finally hold him. Erin is giving the OK today, and once the ENT (ear/nose/throat Dr.) and surgeon coordinate the time, they'll get it done. This will most likely be in the next day or two.

I hear you ... "How did your job interview go?" you ask. Well, I wouldn't say it was so much an interview as it was the manager/supervisor explaining what my job responsibilities would be. He never really asked me any questions except to know if I had any questions.

Does this mean I got the job? Hard to say. I do know that when I was talking with my recruiter before my interview he had been pushing me really hard to the guy. I'll likely call the recruiter later today and follow-up with him. I did ask when I would start and the guy who interviewed me said it would definitely not be next Monday. He said it could take some time because of the various checks they are required to do before they officially hire someone.

Also, I have received all your feedback regarding networking connections for jobs. I will get to them all as quickly as possible.

Mark Schultz and Tree 63 helped give me strength today ...

We were heading home today from the hospital and, as I stated previously, we have started to listen to the local Contemporary Christian radio station in the area. On the way, I heard two songs that gave me a sense of hope amidst all of the chaos that has been occurring.

The first song is a praise and worship song sung by the group Tree63. The song "Blessed Be Your Name" talks about how in both good times and bad, we should continually praise God for what we have. Granted, there have been times it has been hard to praise Him; however, I am beginning to understand this more and more. Below are the lyrics:

Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name

The second song I heard is by Mark Schultz. Now, I don't know why it is that his music seems to speak to me just when I need a message from God. Previously, his song "He's My Son" gave me assurance that he was watching over Aidan when I felt discouraged about his prognosis. It didn't hurt that Erin and I both heard it three times within a 24-hour period.

Maybe it is because he is a Tulsa, OK native and I pay attention more to music when I know the artist is from my home state (gives me that connection to OK when I am way out here in NC). (EDIT: I found out he is actually from Kansas, but has a strong connection with Tulsa through the Christian radio station there). Maybe it is because he presents his messages in such a beautiful manner with his lyrics. Whatever the case may be, I heard another of his songs tonight that gave me hope. The song is called "He Will Carry Me" and it is a very powerful song if you ever get the chance to hear it. It speaks of how when you are at your deepest point of despair and/or loneliness, you can call out to Him and he will be there for you.

I call, You hear me
I’ve lost it all
And it’s more than I can bear
I feel so empty

You’re strong
I’m weary
I’m holdin’ on
But I feel like givin’ in
But still You’re with me

chorus:
And even though I’m walkin’ through
The valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I’ve been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will
Ever need
And He will carry me

I know I’m broken
But You alone
Can mend this heart of mine
You’re always with me

chorus

And even though I feel so lonely
Like I’ve never been before
You never said it would be easy
But You said you’d see me through
The storm

chorus

I can now with complete confidence and assurance say that I know God is with me and my family and that He will take care of us. We have to remain faithful to Him and continue praying that God will heal Aidan.

"Eternally Burned Into My Soul"

Some of you may have seen or heard this phrase from me over the past week and a half and wonder what I mean by it. Allow me this opportunity to explain.

Many people equate the soul with feelings or emotions. Think of all the songs that mention the soul in this manner. For some reason, thinking of the soul makes the lyrics of the Billy Joel song "It's All About Soul" immediately come to mind:

It's all about soul
It's all about faith and a deeper devotion
It's all about soul
'Cause under the love is a stronger emotion
She's got to be strong
'Cause so many things gettin' out of control
Should drive her away
So why does she stay?
It's all about soul

Now, consider what happened that fateful Saturday, February 16. There are a million different emotions that are now forever associated with that sequence of events: anger, fear, hopelessness, distress, sadness, and likely many many more I have yet to discover. Consider how you felt when the worst moment of your life occurred. Now, multiply that by a significant number. How significant? I don't know ... maybe a googolplex? That is most likely how you would feel if your child ... your first-born ... your own personal miracle ... were suddenly in your arms and when you looked down, you saw death.

However, there's an interesting thing about emotions -- your soul, even. It can be suppressed. You can push aside those horrible feelings and focus on the positives happening amongst the tragedy (i.e., paramedics brought him back to life, vital signs are stable, reacts to stimuli, etc.).

Fast forward to this past Saturday. I was sitting alone in Aidan's room when the memories of that day started running through my head. Unfortunately, you cannot stop replaying the sequence of events when they start playing in your mind. As I relived diving in the water and flipping his lifeless body over to see lifeless eyes and ice blue lips, I couldn't hold back the tears.

So, go ahead and burn a memory into my soul ... I'll take a million and one of those over replaying that sequence of events in my mind's eye ever again. The sad thing is that it will always replay in those quiet moments when I look at my son and ask that dreaded question: "What If ...?".

Today, they tried again to back off Aidan's sedation. Erin said that he opened his eyes and even squeezed her and Mamaw Sinclair's hands. Unfortunately, he started getting agitated and ended up having several "episodes" before they decided to put him back on sedation.

We met with Dr. Cacerras (sorry, spelled his name wrong earlier) and asked him about the episodes. He said these were caused by his brain trying to wake up. More specifically, his autonomic nervous system was firing off and causing what equates to a sensory overload. He said that he has seen episodes like this before, but usually in older children rather than toddlers.

At this point, Dr. Cacerras is researching a drug to use the next time they start weaning the sedation that will help subside these episodes. The tentative date for this is later this week at the earliest, but could be as late as the end of next week. A lot depends on his response. Obviously, this is a very slow process.

On the rehab front, they have started to bring in occupational therapists to work on Aidan's arms/legs/feet/hands. They asked us to bring tennis shoes to put on his feet so they will not drop. Also, our social worker is looking into the rehab centers for us, though we have done a little research on some ourselves and we have also had recommendations for other centers (Memphis and OKC) from some of our friends.

My phone interview went well today. I will know about a second interview by the end of the week. I also got a call a little while ago for a face-to-face interview tomorrow at 2:30PM. This position is a short-term contract, but could run longer. Also, the pay is presumably better than I made at my last job ... a lot better. We'll see how that goes tomorrow.

Job prospects are looking up somewhat

I just got a call from a recruiter and I have a phone interview tomorrow. Granted, it was not easy to get. The recruiter had to market my resume a certain way and I also had to answer a lot of questions asked by the client regarding my skill set experience.

So, pray for me between 1 and 5PM (interview is scheduled for between 2 and 4PM and will last up to an hour) that I will have a great interview. This would be a good position with a good company, even if it is a contract position.

Dr. Black met with me and then Erin this morning. He pretty much said the same thing to both of us:

Another EEG is scheduled for today. Hopefully there will be some improvement from the previous one. Another MRI will happen later this week. Pneumonia is pretty much gone according to the chest x-rays, though they keep getting cultures from his lungs just in case. He will be on antibiotics for another few days (10 days total, so most likely this Wednesday), then taken off. They also removed his Foley catheter and the arterial line they were using primarily for BP checks. The central line will be removed in the near future. Leaving these lines in for too long may result in infection.

They are looking to extebate again later this week or maybe even wait until next Monday. If all goes well, great. If not, Aidan will end up getting a tracheostomy as well as a gastric tube, which means two simultaneous surgeries. If that were to happen, he would have those for several months.

Rehab is looking at 8-12 weeks now. He has recommended we look for in-patient pediatric rehab centers that specialize in children with head/brain trauma. Cities he gave: Atlanta, Baltimore, Cincinnati, or Denver. This means moving the family to that area, staying most likely at a Ronald McDonald house, and me finding a job in the city we choose to move to. Does this mean a permanent move to that city? I have no idea. (Edit: No, we will not make a permenant move. We will most likely work out some kind of arrangement depending on where we end up.) We also have no idea how we will be able to pay for it. Someone suggested we check with March of Dimes or some of the other charities that specialize in helping families with children. So now, my Internet searches will consist of finding jobs in those areas, as well as finding out about the various rehab centers.

Drs. Cacerras (intensivist) and Farerras (neurologist) are taking over starting tomorrow. We'll see where things go from here with them in charge.

I know that Russell said he was going to take a break from posting for a few days, so I thought I'd just give you all a little update. There isn't much to tell, though. Since last night, Aidan has been sedated and his vitals look good. He's calm and resting. I was at home most of the day with Evan as he is sick with the flu, pink eye and an ear infection, so I wasn't able to talk to the doctors today. Russell did speak with the neurologist and from what he told me, they are planning to run another MRI in 4-5 days and they are going to do another EEG tomorrow.

I'm praying that everything looks okay tomorrow and that there are no further signs of seizures of damage. I'm worried about the toll of the stress from yesterday on his body, especially his heart and brain. I realize that we had to try to take him off the ventilator to see how he would react to it. I'm just hoping that giving him some more time to heal will allow him to stay off it for good next time without all of the stress on his body.

Other than that, it was a quiet day. He's resting and for now that is okay. Thank you for all the prayers!

Erin

This is Erin ... just wanted to say something

Today was a horrible day and really wasn't what we were expecting. I think, well, I KNOW, that I had an unrealistic image of what was going to happen and today those ideas got knocked down a rung or 10.

I want Aidan to be better NOW, even though I know it is going to take baby steps. Seeing him like he was today, struggling and agitated, just took a toll on all of us.

What I know is this- Aidan is a very strong(physically), very determined, strong-willed, little boy. He's hard headed and adorable all at the same time. He has the best and the worst of both Russell and I. He's fighting this right now, and he just needs more time.

Tomorrow is another day, and we'll see how it goes. The doctor told me we're looking at about another week in the hospital. That was before all the drama unfolded. So, we're probably looking at a little longer unless he starts responding better. Also, when he is released from the hospital, he won't be coming home right away. He will most likely go to a rehab facility for 6 weeks to 2 months (this was the Dr.'s initial though-not written in stone).

This is what I meant by my visions of what was going to happen got knocked down several rungs on the ladder to recovery. I knew that Aidan would need rehab when he came out of the hospital, I guess I just assumed that we'd be bringing him home and I'd be taking him every day to rehab. I know it's for the best, but I'm the control freak and it breaks my heart to be away from him.

I have cried about this almost all evening, I've worried about it, and I've prayed about it. I'm going to just trust that GOD is going to take care of Aidan and that he's going to come home to us. As my friend's little girl said, she had a dream about Aidan and Jesus told her that Aidan was going to be okay. That's the wisdom of a 3 year old.

I don't know why this had to happen to our little boy. I don't know why anyone has to endure this kind of tragedy. If anyone can be made more aware of how to keep their children safe around water then something good can come of our pain.

Russell and I both greatly appreciate all of the prayers and cards that have been sent. I know that I say this every time I write something but I'll never be able to thank you all enough. They bring me hope and help to renew my failing faith when things look bleak. Thank you all!

OK ... so I lied ... latest on Aidan

I know I said that I wasn't posting anything else this weekend, but I also said I would post an update if something significant happens. Fortunately, something significant has happened!

Aidan has been put back on the Fentanyl (the anti-seizure medicine) as well as another medication (can't remember the name). This has got Aidan's vitals back to normal and he is resting comfortably. He also had a fever of 104, but they were able to get that controlled. They also have taken various cultures from his bodily fluids to see if anything in those caused that to happen.

Aidan is currently going in for his follow-up MRI, and will be down there for about an hour and a half. Pray for a 100% clean scan.

Also, Erin talked to Dr. Black and he said we should expect Aidan to be in an in-patient rehab facility for 6-8 weeks. Needless to say, that upset Erin quite a bit. We definitely need prayers for Russell to find a job ... and SOON!

Good Morning! This morning's update is brought to you by BoJangles ... GottaWantaNeedaGettaHavea BoJangles!

Aidan's scheduled for a follow-up MRI sometime today. Once again, they have to coordinate with the anasthesiologists. The results will determine whether or not they can remove the breathing tube today. They let us know that there is the likelihood that the tube will be put back in after it is taken out ... it all depends on how he does once the tube is removed.

No e-cards today, as they only print them Monday-Friday.

Approximately 3:30PM will be exactly one week since Aidan drowned. Would love to have him extubated around that time and be breathing completely on his own. IMO, it would be sweet justice over the grave if that were to happen!

Three baby steps forward ...

And two GIANT steps back! AUGH!

The MRI came back and apparently it looked good enough to justify extebating Aidan. They did that at 3:15 PM Eastern.

About 30 minutes later, Erin and I go back to see Aidan. His breathing was "rattled" (i.e., lots of noise from secretions) and his vitals were sky-high. We tried to comfort him, but it didn't work. The nurses also gave him Ropinol to help dry up those secretions. Even after several coughs, he was still bad. Dr. Black assessed him and determined it was best to re-intebate him. This was after 2 hours.

Fast forward 30 minutes again. My brother-in-law and I went back to see Aidan and he was no better: vitals still sky-high and respiration still high. Matt (the brother-in-law) left immediately. I stuck around and watched him as he continued to struggle. The nurse came in and informed me that a baby a couple of rooms down ws going south, so they were working on him at that moment. I stuck around a little longer then came back to the room. Erin then proceeded to tell me that she was taking Evan to urgent care. Throw in that she also isn't feeling well, and suddenly a potentially great weekend has turned to excrement coming from the sphincter of a male bovine.

Frankly, i am upset and stressed. I'm not sure, and I may be on the verge of my own major meltdown. It seems like all the effort and progress that we just experienced has fallen to the wayside.

I have decided that after this post, I'm taking a break. Aidan is still on the ventilator and no tests are currently scheduled for the weekend. I will not be responding to any emails, nor will I read or make any posts on message boards. If you call me, I will most likely not answer unless you are immediate family. Even then, you'll have to catch me in the right mood. Come Monday or Tuesday, I will post again. I at least owe you an update when something happens out here.

Not much to report today. Aidan is off the Versed and Fentanyl and has been moved to an anesthetic. This is a much faster-acting anesthetic with a very short half-life. This means he gets knocked out quickly and once he builds a tolerance or the dosage wears off he starts to come around within 30 minutes. Aidan is still on the ventilator, but they hope to take him off of it tomorrow. They are still clearing stuff out of his lungs, but it is not mucous like before. They said it is more "frothy". He also has started showing a lot more movement, which is important. he also reacts a much more when stimulated. One other big thing going on is that he is actually breathing over the respirator. The is important in that it helps asses the likelihood of pulling the tube.

The cards keep coming in for Aidan, which is awesome. We have received several cards in the mail, as well as numerous e-Cards from the website. These are greatly appreciated. I cannot begin to adequately thank everyone for the support and prayers we have received from across the country and even around the world thus far.

Russell

Where we go from here

As of right now, Aidan is still on a ventilator. They are weaning him off of the sedatives so that they can remove the breathing tube, hopefully Saturday. He still isn't awake. He makes movements when the nurses move him or try to take his temp. He makes movements when we are in the room with him. This evening he was really moving his arms and when he does so his heartrate and blood pressure rise. I made the mistake of trying to read to him. I thought that hearing my voice would help settle him, but it only made it worse. The nurse told me that we needed to limit his stimuli right now since they are trying to keep him as calm as possible while they get him off the sedatives so we can get him off the vent.

His chest x-ray looked good this afternoon, so they went ahead and removed his chest tube. Everything that we are hearing is good. It's just baby steps. He did have a seizure last night but they got it under control in less than 3 minutes. He hasn't had another one today. We were told this morning that he would most likely be on anti-convulsion meds for about 6 months or so, and he will have to have some kind of rehab (just not sure yet, until he's awake and we know what we're dealing with for sure).

I did meet the mother of a little boy who had a similar accident 5 years ago. At the time the little boy was 2 and he fell into the family's swimming pool. This little boy was in ICU for 15 days and when he went home he was blind in his left eye and he had to go through rehab to teach him how to walk and talk again. The mother picked the little boy up at school today and told him that they were going to visit someone and he said to her, "we're going to see that little boy who fell in the pond, aren't we?" She hadn't even said anything to him about it before then. The boy brought Aidan a little stuffed dog and a balloon. It was so encouraging to see him now at 7 as a healthy little boy with no signs of having such a terrible accident.

Today was Aidan's birthday and I could think of a million other things I'd rather be doing for my baby's birthday than sitting here in the hospital. This evening hasn't been the greatest for me. I can't help but feel useless just sitting here. I can't help but blame myself for not keeping Aidan safe. It's my job. I don't like to anyone take care of my kids, because it's my job. They're my kids and my responsibility. I could have done so many things different to keep him out of that water.

Logically, I know that I can't go back and change the past, and I know it's no one's fault, but, my heart feels guilty. Aidan is such a strong little boy and we're going to get through this. Russell is going to get a job soon and we're going to go on with our lives and be a family. Well, enough of my little pity party.

I do appreciate all of your prayers and the wonderful cards that are being sent. We read them to Aidan every morning. We'll update again tomorrow.

Erin

This is Erin. I just want to thank everyone for their prayers, love and support. I don't think I'll ever be able to express to anyone just how much it means to me.

With that said, I wanted to provide an update since we got to speak with the neurologist this evening. He told us what we already knew from Dr. Black about Aidan's brain stem and mid-brain being normal. He also explained the areas that showed hypoxia and said that they did not look severe, and are reversible. He also said that his initial response to the MRI was that Aidan WAS NOT in the water as long as we thought. This is all wonderful news as I'm sure you all know.

While Dr. Corbier was in here with us, I was holding Aidan's hand and he started trying to cough. He began raising his hand/arm, moved his head some and started blinking and trying to open his eyes. It was amazing to see and made me break down. This whole time I have been praying for my baby to come back to me, but I'm still scared that he will be different.

Aidan is a strong little boy and he proved that to me today. He is a trooper and I can not wait until he can drive me nuts again. I miss his hugs and his kisses and all of the little things he does. I wish that you all could know just how wonderful he is. You would all be wrapped around his finger.

Tomorrow is Aidan's 2nd birthday. When he gets out of this place and is able to come home we are going to have a belated birthday/welcome home party for him.

Thank you again, for all of the prayers. I've never been a really religious person, but this has definitely renewed my faith in God and the good in people in general. All I can say is thank you, thank you, thank you.

-Erin

MRI Results and Other sigs of improvement ....

Just got back from seeing Aidan. I was told by one of the nurses that the last chest x-ray looked good, so they took the chest tube off of mechanical suction. Another chest x-ray will be done tomorrow, and the chest tube may be removed tomorrow if there is significan't enough improvement.

After spending some time with Aidan, I was walking out and saw Dr. Black at the Nurse's Station. He immediately apologized profusely for not getting with me and Erin then gave me the following information:

The MRI revealed some hypoxia at the left frontal lobe and both the left and right parietal and occipital lobes and another MRI may be performed to check this out further; however, the brain stem and mid-brain are perfectly normal!

Praise God!

This was the corner that we were waiting to turn to (IMO) ensure that Aidan was going to come out of this okay! Dr. Cormier still needs to meet with us about the MRS, but this is great news!

There are also other reports of obvious improvement of Aidan's condition:

• Attempting to open his eyes (increased the Versed as a result)
• Raising his arms occassionally when moved
• Coughing
• Hiccups (real ones ... the previous ones were actually seizures)

--Russell

A true sign that God has been in control from the beginning ...

This happened Saturday, but I really feel I need to post it here.

On Saturday, when all hell was breaking loose and it seemed everything was crashing down around us, we got some information that was absolutely mind-boggling.

While in the family waiting room at the ER, we were met by one of the paramedics from the scene and the head of communications for Cabarrus County EMS. These two are father and daughter, as well as friends of Erin's from way back. They did not realize, however, that Erin was at the scene or, for that matter, that Aidan was her child.

While the daughter was helping me and the rest of the clan in comforting Erin (granted, I was needing quite a bit of comforting myself), the father informed us that at the time the call came in, there were no less than, listen to this ...

EIGHT HUNDRED! ... THAT'S 8-0-0!

... first responders (paramedics, fire fighters, and EMTs) within 2 miles of the area, and only because of a funeral at that time for a volunteer fire fighter who was killed in a car accident. To help put this in perspective, I know of only two volunteer fire departments within 7 miles of where the accident occurred. Volunteer fire departments typically have only one person on-site on a rotational basis.

We don't understand why this happened and likely never will, but we are glad God has put things in place the way he did to ensure Aidan will be able to recover from this horrible tragedy.

Just got back from reading to Aidan all the great cards that have been sent to him the past two days. Here is the latest:

Aidan is completely off the Dopamine and his blood pressure is completely normal! This is huge because it will allow him to get the MRI tomorrow. They continue to wean the sedation and anti-seizure medications; he should be completely off the Versed by morning, but not sure on the Fentanyl.

When Erin was in the room earlier, she got to help the nurses in bathing him and changing the bed sheets. At one point in moving Aidan so the sheets could be changed, she saw him trying to cough while ventilated. This is a good thing, as it means he is responding to movement. Any sign of something like this is excellent.

Believe it or not, it has been a pretty quiet day.

Here is what I can tell you:

Dopamine (BP Mediacation) is down to 2 micrograms
Versed (Sedative) is at .4 mg
Fentanyl (anti-convulsant) is also at 2 micrograms
He is on 3 antibiotics for his pneumonia: Vancomycin, Ampicillin, and Gentamycin (via nebulizer)

Aidan was given a second unit of blood (first unit given yesterday) due to low hemoglobin levels. Also, the chest tube appears to be working well.

The goal is to get Aidan off the Dopamine before tomorrow morning so they can do the MRI at that time.

And now, a personal setback ...

Just a week before the accident, Russell lost his previous contract job. The company he worked for felt they couldn't justify the need for his position, so the contract was pulled before the planned expiration. Since then, he's been on the job hunt. His recruiter for the previous position has been on the horn in an attempt to find a position, as well.

Last Thursday, he had an interview with a medical group (let's call them MedGroup1) for an IT position there. He was told he would hear something this Monday about it. He called several times Monday, but never got in touch with the HR rep. He finally called today and after she spoke with those who interviewed him, he was told they decided to go with someone who had lower salary requirements. He then found out from his recruiter (who called in to check up on Aidan) she was told by her connection for the company that they simply picked a candidate with better qualifications. So, which is it? Makes you wonder ..

Anyway, Russell is still on the job hunt. His recruiter put his resume through to another medical group, and he asked to be considered for another position in MedGroup1. Our friends in OK were right about the IT market here in NC ... it is pretty hard to find a permanent job out here right now. Perhaps it is just because it is the start of the new year. Who knows ...

Just add it to your prayer list that he finds a good job soon. If you are networked with anyone out here in NC (or even in SC or VA), pass along his name for a Help Desk, Support Analyst, Desktop Support, or similar position (even System or Network Administration). We'll be happy to forward you his resume so you can relay it to them.

Another setback, but not because of Aidan

Erin ran into Dr. Black while getting something from the nurses' station a little while ago. Dr. Black let her know that they did not have any compatible connectors (for the drugs, I guess), so the MRI has been moved back to tomorrow. They have decided to go ahead and wean Aidan completely off the dopamine.

I truly believe God has a hand in this. He is allowing time for Aidan's brain stem and mid-brain to heal so the MRI will come back 100% normal.

Some good news, a setback, and many thanks

Dr. Black met with us again this morning. He told us he had good news and a setback:

Good News: Aidan is now off the Epinepherine and the Dopamine continues to be eased off (down to 6 from 20). They are also easing off the Versed (sedative -- now at 0.04 from 0.20). The MRI is scheduled for this afternoon so they can coordinate with the anesthesiologist (required since he is on a ventilator). Brain activity is still good (per previous posts, EEG from yesterday looked better from the previous one; no difference in the 2 CT Scans that have been run thus far).

Setback: His great job at breathing has been set back partially. They discovered there is some fluid outside of his lung on his right side, which is creating additional pressure and not allowing his lungs to function as well as before. Dr. Black has talked with the pediatric surgeon and is getting a chest tube put into his right side so the fluid can be drained off his lungs. They also got more information about the pneumonia. They got back the labs and discovered he has a strain of strep pneumonia as well as another bacteria. Aidan is now on two very aggressive antibiotics for those to go along with the inital broad-spectrum antibiotic. The one for strep pneumonia is designed to handle more drug-resistant strains. Dr. Black said that this is a precautionary measure; Aidan does not necessarily have that particular strain. Unfortunately, this setback has tenatively pushed back the day to take Aidan off the ventilator to this weekend.

Many Thanks! I wish to extend my heartfelt thanks to everyone who has sent Get Well Cards. I just had the link posted yesterday afternoon and there was a stack of 34 cards waiting for us in Aidan's room this morning. Again, thank you for your continued thoughts, prayers, and well wishes.

Realization sets in

Erin and I found out today just how bad Aidan had been on Saturday. He was in full cardiac arrest from the time my mother-in-law initiated CPR until the paramedics got him to the hospital. This was nearly 40 minutes after the 911 call was recieved. This means Aidan was clinically dead for approximately 45 minutes when you add in the time he was in the water. The doctors believe he was only in the water 4-7 minutes, though there is no way to really tell according to Dr. Black (the pediatric intensivist).

Dr. Black said that the worst case senario is that Aidan will have some damage to his brain stem and will have developmental/speech type of delays and will require lots of therapy. That's the worst scenario. We can deal with that.

We do not know how to express to everyone just how much your prayers have helped. We truly believe in angels and miracles and Aidan has so many angels looking over him and the fact that he is here right now and that his condition is improving, although he is still critical, is in itself a miracle.

We met with Dr. Corbier (the pediatric neurologist) this evening. Let me start by saying of all the doctors whom I have ever had contact, this one is the most wonderful and most compassionate I have ever met. He is truly a gift from God.

Moving on with the info:

1. The CT Scan with contrast showed no difference in comparison with the CT scan performed previously. This means that there has been no more problems with the cortex portion of his brain. There was also no more swelling in the brain, hydrocephalus (water on the brain), etc.

2. The MRI is on hold until the medications are at the proper level. Optimally, they want Aidan off the Dopamine and Epinephrine (BP meds) before they perform the scan. There will be several different scans performed, all a part of the MRI. Sorry, but I cannot remember all of them right now.

3. Dr. Corbier performed some other tests to check his activity by putting light in his eyes, as well as moving his head back and forth to see if the eyes track in the opposite direction. Both of these tests yielded positive results, which means his brain stem is trying to fire.

We are far from being out of the woods; however, the Dr. is feeling optimistic about where things are headed. The MRI will tell us how well the brain stem is functioning, as well as any potential problems with the cortex that the CT Scan didn't reveal.

Erin also told me she spoke with the nurses a moment ago and the meds have been decreased to the appropriate levels. So, it looks like we will be on track for an MRI tomorrow.

Here is the latest on Aidan:

1. Seizures: They have him on a very high dosage of Versed (sedative) and an anti-seizure med (can't remember the name). As a result, any seizures that were noticable before have "subsided". We'll know more about those once CT results are in. That brings us to ....

2. Tests: The hour-long EEG they ran on him this morning came back with brain activity and "looked good". There is a CT Scan with Contrast scheduled for 6PM Eastern Time. Results will be known later this evening. An MRI is scheduled tentatively for tomorrow depending on how he reacts to his drugs (more on that in a moment). That will show more about the deeper funtions of the brain. MRI Results will show if there is any damage to his brain stem, which controls the communication between the main part of the brain and the rest of the body (breathing, heart rate, etc.). Think of it this way: the main part of your brain is like an electrical power plant. Your body from the neck down is your house. The brain stem is the electical lines running from the power plan to your house. If one of the lines is blocked, cut, etc., you have no power to your house.

3. Drugs: They are continuing to wean Aidan off his BP meds (Dopamine and Epinepherine). Dopamine is down to 11 and was being lowered as I left. They want it to 8 by tonight and 5 tomorrow. Epinepherine is down to 0.6. They want him off of that completely by tomorrow in order to do the MRI.

4. Other Body functions: All organs are functioning properly at this time. There is still some pneumonia, which is expected when somone is pretty much laying in the same position for a long period of time. The nurses have started repositioning him to help the situation.

5. Prognosis: If the MRI comes back with little to no abnormalities, they are planning to wean Aidan off the ventilator on his birthday (Thursday) or Friday. At that point, we'll have his birthday party back there for him, per Dr. Black (the Pediatric Intensivist -- he is essentially in control of Aidan's health) He also said that Aidan's age is a huge benefit to his complete recovery, as well as the water temperature (for those new to the updates, the water was in the mid to upper 40s at the time of the accident). Best case scenario: he walks out perfectly normal. Worst case scenario: he would have multiple developmental (speech, learning, coordination, etc.) delays that would require therapy.

I think God is trying to tell us something ...

I have always believed that God sends us messages when we need them the most. Even though we have tried to be strong, it has been very difficult at times for myself and Erin to maintain a positive outlook, especially with seeing Aidan the way he is in the PICU. Last night and today, though, I have been given a sense of hope.

Since the accident, I have been placing a lot more faith in God than I hadin the past. I will admit that, as a Christian, I am hardly the model example of what one should be. I decided to start listening to a local Christian station here in NC, New Life 91.9FM in Charlotte. Last night on my way back from the house, I heard a particular song. I turned down the radio, as I did not want to hear it. Erin took the car later and heard the same song. Then, today, I had to get new glasses (lost them when I dove in the water to save Aidan). On the way into the parking garage of the mall by the hospital, I heard it again. At that point, I realized what was going on. I sat in the car, listened to the entire song, cried, and thanked God for what he was trying to tell me.

Below are the lyrics for the song I heard. You tell me what God is trying to say:

I'm down on my knees again tonight
I'm hoping this prayer will turn out right
See there is a boy that needs Your help
I've done all that I can do myself
His mother is tired
I'm sure You can understand
Each night as he sleeps
She goes in to hold his hand
And she tries not to cry
As the tears fill her eyes

CHORUS:
Can You hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him?
Can You make him feel all right?
If You can hear me
Let me take his place somehow
See, he's not just anyone
He's my son

Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep
I dream of the boy he'd like to be
I try to be strong and see him through
But God who he needs right now is You
Let him grow old
Live life without this fear
What would I be
Living without him here
He's so tired and he's scared
Let him know that You're there

CHORUS

Can You hear me?
Can You see him?
Please don't leave him
He's my son

Talked with the nurse just a moment ago. The EEG was performed this morning and we are awaiting the results. The MRI is on hold since he is still hooked up to a lot of machines that could potentially have problems due to the magnetic fields. There is another CT Scan scheduled for this evening (approx 6PM eastern).

Now for the positives that are occurring: They have just run a line to his intestine and will start feeding him from it once the X-Ray comes back and verifies it is where it needs to be. They have already started feeding him via his central line. Also, his seizures appear to have decreased significantly in intensity and frequency. The now look more like infrequent twitches. His color is also much better. They have started weening him off Dopamine, which was being used to regulate his BP. They dropped it by 2 micrograms (mics) and he seems to be responding well to that. The goal is to get him down to 8 mics and he is now at 18 mics.

This is going to be a long, slow, drawn-out process. I ask for constant and fervent prayer, but especially ask for it during his test times. I will do the best I can to get that information before the tests occur so you can pass it along to the people in your prayer chains.

I want to thank all of you for your prayers thus far. It is said where two or more are gathered, there He will be also. Considering my family, Erin's family, MySpace, CakeCentral (board where my wife is a member), my Yahoo! Groups, former co-workers in Tulsa, OStateSports.com, OrangePower.com, and all the churches associated therein, God is hearing a lot of prayers for Aidan. That much prayer CANNOT be ignored by Him.

Please keep up the vigil. Tomorrow is a crucial day with the MRI and one-hour EEG. I believe those will give the best indication of where we stand in terms of Aidan's recovery.

How we are doing and some additional info ...

We are, for lack of a better term, coping ... or at least trying to do so. We keep the faith by thinking of him waking up and saying "Hey!" to me. It also helps in keeping us from seeing the image of our son in the water as well as how he looked when Russell turned him over that is now permanently burned into our soul.

Erin's mom's boyfriend (the "step-father-in-law") checked the pond temp this evening before he came to the hospital and told us it was 47 degrees. He said he measured it at a pretty good depth (when he put up his hands, it looked like 18-24 inches). The detective who took our statements about what happened (standard procedure when a child is involved in an accident) said he would check with his supervisor to see if he took a temp, as his supervisor was taking photos of the scene after Aidan was cleared out of there. The doctors said that anything under 50 is a good thing ... the lower the better.

A couple of things I just found out after talking to the nurse:

• The sedation is deep so there will be minimal stress on the brain and it can heal. Their philosophy is "the less stimulation, the better"
• While I was in the room with him a moment ago, they checked his pupils for a response and there was a response. This is good, as there wasn't one earlier today.

Guys, he is healing! He is doing better and better hour by hour. Again, THANK YOU!!!!!

If you want to place a face to the name of the boy you are praying for, go to http://aidanwilliam.aboutmybaby.com

We got the results from the CAT Scan and everything is normal according to the neurologist. Also, he ran a test where he put ice water in Aidan's ears. What should happen is his eyes should dart to that ear. He successfully looked to the right, but did not really respond to the left. The neurologist thought this could be due to not putting enough water in his left ear, or the fact that he is sedated more heavily.

As for the seizures, they are still happening, but not as frequently or as heavily. This could be due to the increased anti-convulsive medications, the deeper state of sedation, or both. They also asked for an accurate temperature reading of the pond water. This will help establish how much help the cold may serve towards his recovery.

There will be another EEG tomorrow as well as an MRI. Again, the next 48-72 hours will be crucial to his recovery.

We just finished speaking with the neurologist. They did an EEG to test Aidan's brain function. It is looking good. There is activity and it looks hopeful. Since this morning around 1AM he's been having seizures due to brain swelling.

The next 2 days are going to be the most critical with brain swelling. They are taking him for a CAT scan this afternoon and will do an MRI tomorrow as well as more EEGs to continue to check for further brain activity.

All of the doctors have told us is that it's a good thing that the water was so cold (about 40 degrees) and his body was so cold. In children the response to hypothermia is much quicker and can work to his benefit.

This is definitely trying on our faith and we are trying hard to stay strong for Aidan and our 7 month old as well, but it is hard. We am asking for any and all prayers that our little boy comes back to us.

We appreciate all of the thoughts and prayers thus far, and they've been working, just keep them coming. Aidan can use all the angels he can get right now.

CT Scan time changed

The CT Scan was moved back to 4PM Eastern time. Right now, they are hooking Aidan up to an EEG and the Pediatric Neurologist is in the room.

I appreciate all of the prayers being sent up. Every time I hear or read that someone is continuing to pray for him, I have to hold back tears.

Vitals update and CT Scan scheduled

Here is an update of what we have so far:

Aidan's vitals continue to improve, but the concern right now is over his brain, as it was without oxygen for quite some time. There is a CT Scan scheduled for 11AM. Please concentrate your prayers on healing his brain; we really want him to come through.

I was in there with him just now and he is sleeping peacefully. They said he has pneumonia (expected) and took a sample while I was in there. They said he won't be off the ventilator until that clears up, which could be several days. He's also running a slight fever (101), most likely as a result of the pneumonia. The nurses all seem pretty encouraged by what they have seen so far in his recovery. What is unseen, however ...

My wife was in there with her mom a moment ago, and Aidan was responding to her voice and touch and his pupils were reacting to stimulus. They sedated him further so he could rest. Right now, that is what he needs.

All these little things are encouraging. We'll know more in the morning, obviously.

My family is in need of a LOT of prayers over the next few days. I ask that you forward this message to anyone and everyone that you can in any way possible.

Our oldest son drowned Saturday afternoon. We were setting up for his birthday party when he got out of sight while he was outside. When I rescued him from the water, his lips were blue and fluid was bubbled up out of his nose. My mother-in law, who is a nurse, and the paramedics had to work really hard to resuscitate him. They got him back, but it took a long time.

He is now in the PICU at the NE Medical Center in Concord, NC (Jeff Gordon Children's Hospital). His vitals are stable, but the next several days are going to be crucial to how fully he recovers (CT Scans, Neurology Tests, etc.).

Please keep us in your prayers. I'll try to post updates when I can.